


Curiosity Killed the Cat

by Pfain Ryder (Cat_Moon)



Category: Quantum Leap
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 04:56:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19968391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat_Moon/pseuds/Pfain%20Ryder
Summary: When Sam is invited to a college reunion, Al finds out a lot about his friend that he didn't know.  Like, about that streaking incident...   This is a bit of a different take on who the character might be, and how events in his life shaped him.





	Curiosity Killed the Cat

**Author's Note:**

> From Quantum Instability #7.  
> Sam streaking. It's actually canon, although I don't remember which episode it's from.

Intro:

_"There's a letter for you." I tossed the small white envelope over the stack of files that separated his desk from mine._

_"Hmmm?" He was still intent on his monitor screen._

_"A letter. For you." I picked it up and waved it in the air. "It came in the mail today."_

_"Hmmm." He nodded absently._

_Okay, I was curious. Most of our stuff came via E-mail, or the fax machine. Snail mail was almost nonexistent._

_"Maybe it's from an old girlfriend," I ventured. "Someone you never told me about?"_

_He kept on working._

_"Well, aren't you going to open it?" I finally insisted._

_"Okay, okay." He grinned at me as he turned away from the computer and picked up the envelope. His eyes widened as he read the return address..."_

"Ah hah, it _is_ an old girlfriend," I said with a leering grin. I enjoyed teasing Sam Beckett almost more than anything else...well, except of course, women.

"Uh, no," he said, and now he sounded distracted. Tearing the envelope open, he briefly scanned the sheet of paper inside -- then tossed it in the wastebasket.

"What was that all about?" I asked, puzzled.

"Junk mail." He went back to his computer monitor, seemingly dismissing the subject from his mind.

 _Junk mail? Not the way he reacted when he saw the address..._ I'm not sure why he didn't expect my next move. I've never been known for a lack of curiosity. I stood up casually. His eyes surreptitiously watched me as I picked up my mug and sauntered over to the coffee machine. His gaze returned to the screen. On my way back to my desk, I swiftly detoured and scooped the paper out of the trash.

"Hey!" Sam yelled, making a grab for it. "That's private!"

"No it's not, it's garbage." I'm not sure what I was expecting, but when I read the paper, I just looked at him blankly for a few minutes. "It's a college reunion?"

Sam shrugged. "Sorry to disappoint your smutty mind. No big deal."

"From Cal Tech. You got one of your degrees there, didn't you?"

"The first one, in archaeology. Then I transferred to MIT."

I regarded him shrewdly. "Aren't you going?"

He sighed. "No, I'm not going. You already figured that out."

"Why not?" Not that I had to guess. I was still working on trying to get Sam to loosen up and enjoy life. It seemed all he was interested in was working. Not a healthy lifestyle, in my opinion. Okay, so mine was a bit unhealthy too, on the opposite end. That's why we made such a good team. I was hoping we'd influence each other and both learn moderation.

"I just don't want to go."

"Might be fun. Seeing all your old friends again."

"I was there six months working my butt off. I didn't--" He stopped abruptly, coughed in embarrassment, and fastened his eyes firmly on his screen.

"Was it that horrible an experience?" I asked quietly.

"No, it wasn't horrible, I just don't care to attend. I've got too much work to do here."

"Corbane said the other day that if you don't take a vacation soon, he's going to make it mandatory."

Something moved in his eyes, almost like a trapped animal. I ignored it. "I'll come along, it'll be great, you'll see."

XXX

As the taxi pulled up in front of the hotel, Sam looked even less happy, if that was possible. I kept rambling on, hoping to pull him out of his doldrums. I swear, sometimes forcing Sam to have fun was like pulling teeth.

"This is a great hotel I've booked us into," I told him as the driver got our bags out of the trunk. "All the luxuries. And most of the reunion attendees are staying here." We were lucky to get the host hotel, on such last minute notice.

"Oh, great..." I heard him mutter.

We entered the lobby with our bags. "Listen Sam, I know you. I can guarantee there was some cute little coed that had a secret crush on you. If you're lucky, maybe she's still single and would love to make that old fantasy come true."

"And has a friend for you?"

"Naturally."

Sam shook his head tolerantly, and followed me over to check-in.

XXX

I'd noticed Sam's reluctant behavior ever since he got the letter about the reunion, but once we arrived, it got downright weird. As we checked in and made our way up to our adjoining rooms, his eyes scanned the surroundings, checking every single person we passed. I was beginning to wonder if maybe there was someone in particular he was afraid of running into, maybe an old girlfriend after all. It was certainly going to be an interesting trip.

It took me an hour to convince Sam to go down to the restaurant for dinner instead of ordering room service. Through the whole meal he nervously pushed his food around, squirming like he was trying to blend into the woodwork. Every attempt on my part to unravel the mystery was met by stubborn insistence that he just hated reunions. Curiouser and curiouser.

I figured a nice soak in the hot tub before bed was in order, so I dragged my reluctant companion down to the pool room. He definitely needed relaxing.

At first it seemed to work. Sam took out his frustrations by doing powerful laps in the pool, then joined me in the hot tub. Laying there, leaning back with his eyes closed, I hoped he'd finally unwound.

I passed the time perusing the females in the vicinity. The pickins' weren't good: a teenage girl with her boyfriend in tow, two mothers supervising their children as they splashed in the pool, a 60-something matron sitting on one of the chairs reading a book. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Now there's someone more my own age. Bite me.

Well, maybe the lounge, later, would yield better results. I signed.

Sam opened his eyes at the sound, a soft smile on his face as he glanced around the room, as if he knew what I was thinking. Probably did, the bastard. Then I noticed his eyes harden, and followed the direction he was staring in.

Two men lounged in the deep end of the pool, heads close together, talking. It seemed pretty clear they were looking in the direction of the hot tub, of which Sam and I were the only occupants at the moment. As we watched them watching, one said something to the other and they laughed.

Sam abruptly launched himself out of the water like a missile, heading for the locker room. I glanced back at the two to find their eyes had followed Sam, and something clicked.

Chuckling to myself, I joined Sam in the locker room to find him throwing his clothes on over his bathing trunks. "Geez, 'ya come here to pick up chicks, and ya got guys givin' ya the eye," I quipped.

Sam paused for a second at my words, and continued dressing. I'd wanted to take a shower before I got dressed...but suddenly the thought of those two deciding to follow...well, no I'm not prejudice, but it was an uncomfortable thought. I grabbed my clothes from my locker.

"Lighten up, Sam," I told him as I struggled to catch up with him, having the suspicion if he finished dressing first he'd leave without me. When it comes to the subject of sex -- any sex -- he reverts to a nine year old who's afraid to peek at a Playboy magazine. Mr. Embarrassment. "Think of it as a...compliment."

Sam glanced at me, unexplained anger flashing in his eyes for just a split second. "I don't notice _you_ stripping to change."

"Uh, yeah...well, uh..."

"Uh hmm," he said, turned on his heel, and left.

XXX

I'd really counted on being able to coax Sam downstairs to the lounge. Usually, after enough prodding, he'd give in to shut me up. And when that happened, he usually ended up enjoying himself. Not this night. By the time I'd spent hours cajoling, gotten into a fight with him, it was almost eleven when I made it down to the lounge. Alone.

Wasn't alone for long, thank god. When I took her up to my room, I could hear Sam's TV playing through the wall. I tried to keep it quiet; the mood he'd been in, he'd ream me if I kept him awake. Speaking of, sometimes I think all that man needs is a good fuck. Why it's the very thing he constantly tries to avoid at all costs, is beyond me.

XXX

By the next morning, I was beginning to wonder if I could salvage any of the trip. Sam was silent and morose over breakfast.

Finally, I threw down my napkin. "Sam, look, I'm sorry about last night. I just want to see you enjoying yourself, that's all."

Sam looked up. "Maybe my idea of enjoyment is just different from yours, did you ever consider that?"

I shook my head. "You've never been like this before. Something weird's going on here. I'm kinda wondering when you're gonna tell me what it is."

"I don't want to be here, Al. I didn't want to come in the first place, and I don't know why I let you talk me into it."

"Because you wanted me to," I said softly. But he'd already left the table.

After I hurriedly finished my food and paid the bill, I went to find Sam. When I stepped out of the restaurant and scanned the area for my friend, I noticed a commotion going on in the lobby. People were gathered near the elevators. As I got closer, I saw some guy being forcibly led away by another. His eye looked bruised, and his lip was bleeding.

A fight, obviously. The crowd began to disperse as I made my way to the elevator. Standing there when I reached it was Sam...looking disheveled, and breathing hard. He was holding one hand in the other, and I could see the skin was broken on his knuckles.

"An old friend who wasn't happy to see you?" I inquired pleasantly.

"Something like that," he muttered. We rode the elevator to our rooms in silence.

XXX

By now I figured it was an old enemy, someone Sam didn't want to run into, and that's why he hadn't wanted to come. In fact he seemed a bit more calm after the fight, not even a token protest at attending the buffet lunch where he'd see all his old schoolmates.

Everything seemed to be going smoothly, and I started to relax. Sam even mingled a bit, talking with a few of the women present that he'd shared classes with. I watched, almost like a proud father, hoping he'd strike up more than a casual conversation. Keeping my distance to give him space, I ended up standing by the punch bowl, scanning the room for some female company for myself.

Three guys walked up behind me, deep in conversation, helping themselves to some punch.

"...I hear he's been in some magazines, latest wiz kid."

"Wiz kid..." another man laughed. "Gee, I never thought of _that_." The others laughed.

"He sure was a wiz at cock-sucking. Served half the basketball team from what I heard."

I started to turn away, not particularly interested in the topic of conversation, but the next words stopped me dead.

"If you look real close, you can still see it scratched into the bathroom wall: For a good time, just wait here for Sam Beckett."

My blood turned to ice in my veins. I almost didn't hear the next words over the roaring in my ears.

"He's here with some older guy. Think he's got himself a sugar daddy?"

Their snide laughter was the last straw. I whipped around (their eyes got real wide when they realized it was the "sugar daddy" himself whose back had been to them), and grabbed the nearest one by the collar.

"If you don't keep your filthy mouth shut, somebody's gonna have to shut it for you!" The idea held enormous appeal. I pulled my fist back...

The next thing I knew, Sam was grabbing my elbow, dragging me out of the room. His face was so red he looked like he was about to die of embarrassment any second. He didn't let go of me until we were in the elevator heading towards our floor.

"No wonder you didn't want to come here. Geez, what a bunch of nozzles." I was still flying high on pure anger, coherent thought beyond me. Where I came from if you said something like that about a guy, you were lucky if you could still walk in the morning.

"Just drop it Al, okay?" With those words he left me standing in the elevator, long strides already half way to his room.

"Huh?" I was talking to thin air. The brain kicked in now, forebodingly. Did Sam know what they'd said? And moreover, _how_ had he known?

My feet kept walking though my brain was trying to talk them out of it. A quick sprint and I was able to grab the door as Sam tried to swing it shut. I knew one thing: if he closed that door he'd be behind a fortress I wouldn't be able to breach.

He turned around. "Al--"

"I just wanna know what the hell's going on here."

"Stay out of it." Sam moved away, to the freshly made bed where a piece of paper sat as if waiting for him. Picking it up, I saw him pale. His eyes scanned it, then he threw it down.

I picked it up with shaking (why?) fingers. It was a hastily scrawled note: _if you still like to suck, meet me in the lobby bathroom at 2pm. First stall on the right._

I looked at Sam. He looked about to throw up. I found myself tongue tied, took refuge in minor details. "Someone broke in here...?"

"Probably paid the maid to deliver it," his dead voice recited.

The votes are in, I know what you're thinking. But I couldn't believe it was true, not of Sam. Unfortunately it wasn't enough. I needed to hear him deny it, give me a simple excuse.

"I think you owe me an explanation, by this point."

Sam sat down on the edge of the bed, head down and arms wrapped around his middle. I wondered if he really was going to puke.

"I don't know why I came here. Thought no one would remember, or no one would dare say anything. It was so long ago."

My eyes narrowed. "What are you saying? Someone...an enemy started a rumor about--"

"I sucked cock. I was an expert at it."

I stood there my mouth agape at his uncharacteristic and abrupt crudeness. You could have knocked me over with a feather. _Sam_. It was almost ludicrous.

"No..."

"Any time, any where." Now he seemed to be going into shock. "You don't believe me, ask the guys downstairs. I'm sure they'd be glad to tell you, in vivid detail."

The vivid details were already forming against my will in my mind, spurred on by the things I'd overheard, pieces of the puzzle. Sam, on his knees in a public toilet like some... Revulsion washed over me, and I forced the rest away violently, feeling my knees weak. It over took me, and I wasn't responsible for what came next.

"How...how could you do that?" I asked, my voice gaining momentum as I went on. "Let them use you worse than a cheap whore -- don't you have any self respect?!" Now I was shouting.

Sam bore it silently until I'd finished, not moving from his place on the bed.

"I guess I didn't," he agreed softly. "I don't know what to tell you. It was some kind of phase I outgrew after I left. Or I was fucked up in the head. What do you want me to say? My brother had just died in Vietnam. Maybe I was feeling guilty because I was still alive, safe here and he was dead. Maybe I just wanted desperately to please others. Maybe I was exploring my sexuality. Maybe I just didn't care."

"You really just let any guy..." it trailed off. "In public bathrooms..." that trailed off.

"Or anywhere else they wanted," he whispered. "I don't do it any more, if that's what you think," he said, a bit stronger.

He didn't move from his lamb-to-the-slaughter type pose on the bed. As if waiting for me to pass sentence. For the final piece of degradation.

Suddenly my own nausea, coming from several different places, got too much for me. I couldn't stay in that room another second. Heading for the adjoining door to my own room, I threw over my shoulder, "I need some air."

XXX

I stood in the middle of my own room, adrift, wondering what to do next. Reality was seeping in at an alarming rate, replacing the numbing void with the unthinkable.

Talking about it, even though I was disgusted, sickened by the way he'd degraded himself, had left me with a painfully swollen erection. Shame bright inside me, I went to take a shower and relieve the ache.

XXX

I felt a lot clearer-headed when I tentatively knocked on his door an hour later. A cold shower, cigar, and that fresh air had helped considerably. Except for the lump of apprehension in my stomach, worry for Sam -- too ingrained now to ever go away -- I was doing okay.

To my surprise Sam opened the door, silently letting me in. His eyes were red and slightly swollen. He looked...weary beyond words. Like he'd given up.

"I uh...I'm sorry I ran out like that before."

He shrugged as if it didn't matter. We both knew better.

"I just needed...time to think." Apprehension shown in his face at my words. "This took me by surprise."

"So," he said, turning to stare out the window.

"I want to understand this, Sam. You're my friend and I want to help."

"You used to say you were my _best_ friend," he murmured, almost too low for me to catch.

An image came to me. Of Sam, lying on his rumpled bed and crying his eyes out... (like he's lost his best friend?) while I jerked off next door trying valiantly not to think of him. I wanted to go over to him and put my arms around him, offer what comfort I could. I was afraid to.

"I still consider myself to be," I said carefully. A noticeable amount of tension left his shoulders. "We need to talk about this."

That multi-purpose shrug again.

I took a deep breath and began. "You're gay?"

"I don't know what I am, Al," he said, running a hand through his hair. "I'm nothing. I'm asexual."

"Have you ever had a...a _real_ relationship with another man?" I wasn't sure why I was asking. I had a feeling it wasn't purely academic interest.

Sam shook his head. "I just got them off and left." A ghost of a smile hinted at his lips. "I jerked off a lot. Still do."

"What about women?" Before he could answer, I continued. "I'm not trying to pry into your personal life, Sam. I just need to understand. I want to help you."

"To be 'normal'?" he asked with a trace of sarcasm.

"Yes," I said firmly and defiantly. "Because doing...what you did for strangers, unable to find pleasure in a real, equal relationship with another _human being_ \-- that's not healthy."

"It's over," Sam said impatiently. "It's in the past. I haven't touched another man since I left here. I've been with women. It would have been forgotten if I hadn't gotten that damned letter and you hadn't dragged me to this reunion." But it wasn't in the past, not if his remark about being asexual meant what I thought it did.

"You must've--" I cleared my throat, "I mean, did you like it?"

"It's over! Why can't you just let it be over?! Maybe you..." he leaned forward to look closer at me, and gave a hollow laugh. "Oh Christ, that's it, isn't it? My best friend finds out I was the cock sucking champion and he wants a taste for himself!" His words ended in an almost-sob of pain. His eyes were wet, but hard.

"That's not true!" I shouted, even knowing he'd hit a nerve. I stepped forward to grab his arms.

"You want it right here, or should we go into the bathroom?" he sneered, beginning to slide to his knees.

"Damn you!" I slapped him.

I stared at him. He stared at me. There was no movement, the only sound in the room was our labored breathing.

I'd never slapped a man before in my life. Belted yeah, punched in many a place. _Slapping_ seemed to have a nasty connotation, somehow connected with this touchy situation. Looking into his eyes, I suddenly couldn't bare what I saw there any longer. This time, I was definitely going to upchuck.

I made it to the toilet just in time, crouching down and hanging on until the buffet lunch was gone and only bile remained.

I stayed where I was, having no inclination to move. After awhile I was aware of Sam standing in the doorway. I didn't know how long he'd been there, but somehow he knew awareness had returned.

"I'm sorry," he whispered tentatively.

It almost broke me. "Don't!" I said sharply.

He turned and started heading out the door.

"Don't go," I told him. He hesitated. "Can you...get me something to wash my mouth out with, please?"

Sam stepped over and picked up a glass from the counter, running cold water into it for a few seconds. Then he held it out.

"Thank you." I gratefully gulped the water, spiting into the bowl twice before swallowing the rest. It eased my raw throat.

Sam's hand went out. "I..." A gesture of reconciliation?

I grabbed it, and the next thing I knew we were both on the floor, holding onto each other tightly.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry," I found myself repeating the mantra over and over until Sam managed to get in a word edgewise.

"I guess you're disappointed in me," he whispered.

I shook my head. "There's a lot to be proud of, Sam." I felt the tremble in his body, knowing that's what he'd been afraid of most. Loss of my respect. Meanwhile, all I wanted to do was comfort, hold, touch... "It's _me_ I'm disappointed in," I confessed, cursing my traitorous body for responding to the man in my arms when I should have been showing selfless concern.

Very slowly, he pulled back slightly. Our eyes met -- and it was all over. I drowned in those soft green depths. I heard him give a soft cry a moment before our lips met.

Then it was like being hit with a freight train, hard and fast. His mouth opened, mine opened. I wanted to inhale him, soak him up through my pores until we were one complete person. I wanted him naked, now. To touch every inch of him at once. And judging by the frantic desperation in his reciprocal groping, he felt the same way. That reassured me somewhat. Whether this was right or wrong, we both wanted it.

We ended up on our knees, crushed against each other, trying to get clothing off despite the tight press of our bodies. A button popped off, followed closely by the unmistakable sound of cloth ripping. Whose, I didn't know and didn't care. This was the hottest sex I've ever encountered in my life. And believe me, I've encountered a lot. The fact that it was _Sam_ was so amazing it made my head spin.

I didn't want this to be even remotely similar to Sam's earlier experiences, no cheap groping on a hard, impersonal floor. I staggered to my feet, pulling him up with me. We made our way into the other room, clothes disappearing as we went, laughing together at the awkwardness of some of our maneuvers. By the time we reached the bed we were both naked.

The cool spread and soft mattress felt good against my skin; Sam's hot hard body pressing me into it was something I felt like I'd never get enough of.

Our sweat and groans mingled, increased. Sam thrust himself against me, blindly riding the passion. I reached and grabbed the soft mounds of his ass with both hands, pulling him harder into me. He cried out, and I felt his teeth bite my shoulder. My hands reached under, roaming over what they could reach of his balls. He opened his legs wider, throwing one over me. I reached further, and squeezed. His breath against my neck grew more harsh as we rocked, harder, faster. Finally, a frozen moment in time later I felt his warm wetness branding me, his cry of release vibrating in my ear. Desperate to catch up with him, I pulled his body entirely on top of mine.

The feeling of this strong, masculine body covering mine, as disarmingly alien as it was, was the final push I needed. I blissfully sailed over the edge, calling his name as I fell.

Sam shifted off me, as we both caught our breath. His eyes sought mine. They were soft, alive...but with a wisp of apprehension. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close again, taking his mouth in reassurance. I could feel his smile through the kiss.

"It was good, wasn't it?" he said breathlessly, not really a question.

"I don't know if I'll ever get enough of you," I told him, already anticipating our next lovemaking.

I hadn't wanted anyone this bad since I was a horny kid, just discovering the opposite sex. Maybe I was, in a way. I wanted to tell Sam, let him know how he made me feel, but the idea of talking about my feelings was still difficult for me. Despite that, I knew he needed my reassurance, was uncertain of what this new situation meant for us.

"That...would be okay with me," he said quietly.

"Huh?" I'd lost the conversation somewhere.

He blushed slightly, but answered. "If you never get enough of me."

"Are you tryin' to tell me somethin'?" I asked with arched eyebrow.

"Are you trying to tell _me_ something?" he retorted.

"Yes I am." And the softening in his eyes was worth the discomfort of revealing myself. It bolstered my courage. "This goes way beyond curiosity."

"I didn't even...you know."

I nodded. "I don't want this to be a...dominant/submissive type of thing, like it was for you before."

Sam looked much improved since this afternoon, almost back to his old self -- if you discounted the fact that he was naked in bed with me instead of sitting at a keyboard.

"You think I'd let you?" he asked with an impudent grin.

If this was his road to healing, I was glad it led to me. I had some things to heal too, and I had a feeling his special man would be the one to accomplish what none before could.

"Hmm...could be fun trying," I mused as he swung his leg over me until he was straddling me, sitting there with his temporarily flaccid cock lying on my stomach. My eyes darkened with lustful thoughts as I gazed at him. I reached out, taking his hips in my hand and urging him forward. "Now come up here. It's about time you found out what it feels like...to be on the receiving end."

XXX

We lay in the darkness, our voices murmuring quietly as we talked through the night. There was a lot to discuss. Things we hadn't told each other that now would be spoken, needed to be said. Long denied desires that would be ignored no more. Taken out in the light of day and accepted, they weren't nearly as scary as they'd been hiding in that dark closet. Whether the road ahead would be easy or not, we didn't know. But that didn't matter so much, because we had each other.

We'd make it.

**the end**

8/12/96


End file.
